Why Choose an Ice Queen When You Can Have the Best of LA?
July 25, 2018. By Cassy Aoyagi: We need to talk. We’ve noticed you’ve been hanging out with Ice Plant quite a bit this summer, and we just can’t keep quiet anymore. There are things you should know.
The Ice Queen
We are coming up on planting season, and long-term, we want so much more for you. I mean…
Have you noticed that no one tweets around her? Our friends stay away. You know that’s not normal, right?
Where does she leave space? She shows up, takes the beach like Eisenhauer, and then demands more. There are whole cities who won’t even hang out with her! (…including Malibu, Santa Monica, Manhattan Beach, Playa Del Rey Beach and like the *whole* central coast.)
We hate to ask, but, really, do you even like her? We notice you tip-toeing around, avoiding her prickly areas. You just don’t look comfortable, let alone happy.
We just want you to know you are a great catch. If you are still open to looking, you would never have to touch an app. We would happily set you up. Top of my head, there are so many beach beauties who make better companions.
One way to just get back out there might be to hang with Sand Verbena, Beach Morning Glory and Suncup a bit. Yes, they are real beach beauties. They’ve been in protected VIP space, but they are growing beyond that now.
Will take your breath away. Not that it is all about looks, but there is just no comparison between the delicate loveliness of these beauties and Ice Plant.
Throw perpetual beach parties. Seriously. Everywhere from Malibu to Redondo, they have something going, not to mention the central coast.
Are always tweeting and dancing. Our feathered friends and the social butterflies won’t leave them alone!
Give more than they take. Here’s the big one. You are used to someone who pouts and fusses when she can’t run things. There is none of that here.
You’ve already guessed the caveat? These girls do not settle down. If you try to domesticate them, they wither. You have to be happy spending time with them alongside the rest of the beach goers.
We know you gravitate toward Miss Ice because you’re ready to make a commitment, even sacrifices, and we love you for that. The sacrifices just don’t need to be that deep. If you are sure you are ready, we also know a few great beauties who thrive in captivity, so to speak.
Have enchanting looks. You’ve trained yourself to find prickly beautiful, but you really can have someone lush and leafy. Promise.
Can hold their own. Each of these ladies thrives in sand, and will even be a little annoyed if you fuss over them. It’s not just because they are “drought tolerant.” They are part of our crowd, and they aren’t going to pout and fuss if you have a few rainy days.
Play nice. When you are hanging out with them, no one dominates. They support one another’s growth, share resources, and really bring out the best in each other.
Are great home makers and entertainers. They love the domestic life. Rather than withering or isolating you, they’ll create an environment everyone wants to visit. You won’t have to go out to join your feathered friends and even the butterflies – they’ll come to you!
There is one other option. She’s all the above and more. I’m hesitant to even mention her, as she is no groundcover. In fact, California Buckwheat stands quite tall. You haven’t seen her on the beach much, but when she shows up, she means business. Her blooms will knock you out. She even jams with – wait for it – El Segundo Blue Butterfly! If I had to call it, I’d say, she might be The One.
Just saying… You have options. Tons of them. Let us know when you are ready.